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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23229664">The Roadtrip Fic</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyCrowing/pseuds/enbyCrowing'>enbyCrowing</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Waddle’s Oneshots [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Newsies - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Modern AU, Multi, Oneshot, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Roadtrip, They’re morons, jack almost dies lmao, smalls is a useless lesbian, smalls/kath but I didn’t tag it, sniper is a musical geek, teen and up because mentions of sex and swearing, the newsies are dumb, they going to area 51 bois</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 12:20:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>655</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23229664</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyCrowing/pseuds/enbyCrowing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A dumb thing i made for my tumblr friends. Teen and up because they mention something related to sex and they curse a lot. Modern AU.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Crutchie/Racetrack Higgins, David Jacobs/Jack Kelly</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Waddle’s Oneshots [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1668037</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Roadtrip Fic</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Smalls wanted to spontaneously combust. It was three am, and they’d been driving for seven hours already. Somehow, Sniper had convinced her to go raid Area 51 with them, promising that Katherine would be there. Obviously, the raid was the brainchild of Race and Albert. Jack and Crutchie had gone of their own accord, and everyone had tagged along. Spot drove another group of newsies, so the unlucky group cramped into Mrs Jacobs’ van was Davey, Jack, Kath, Sniper, Race, Crutchie, Albert, and Smalls. Well, she thought, at least I’m not stuck in the back with all our crap. That was Sniper, who was reading some classic with earbuds in.</p><p>Smalls’ phone had died an hour ago and Jack was hogging the car charger, so she was stuck in a sing-a-long to shitty pop on the radio with Race and Albert. Finally, Davey pulled over to a Seven-Eleven. </p><p>“Ten minutes, I’m not waiting for anyone.” he warned, unlocking the doors. Jack pulled Davey out of the van as well, saying something about “Albert’s gonna do dumb shit” as Race helped Crutchie out of the van, holding his hand daintily like a prince or something. Smalls dug out some cash from her wallet, as Albert made a beeline for the snacks and Sniper stocked up on Mountain Dew and tictacs. </p><p>Since everyone was done shopping relatively quickly and it was three am, they just hung out in the seven eleven for a bit. Smalls heard a weird honking noise from around the corner, and heard Race laughing. Well, that’s never a good combo of sounds, Smalls thought. She rounded the corner to paper towels laid across the floor and Albert hunched over a pile of something. Upon further inspection, it was...</p><p>A fucking pile of hot cheetos. Of course it was. Race sounded like the goose in the corner, laughing his ass off. Eventually, this caught Davey’s attention, who went onto a tangent of “I told you so,” but even after that it got a few chuckles out of him. </p><p>“3 AM Davey is scary.” Crutchie pointed out on the way back to Davey’s van, as Smalls helped carry the five bottles of Mountain Dew that Sniper had bought “for science.” Smalls piled into the van with her cheerios, trying not to giggle at Race and Crutchie being super oblivious as they climbed into the van together.</p><p>Five AM</p><p>“Aand there are approximately 725 species of venomous snakes worldwide...” Davey droned on. Jack had taken over driving about a half hour ago, which meant the car was subject to “interesting” snake facts with Davey. Smalls sighed. Sniper and Kath were asleep, and Smalls totally wasn’t dramatically sighing at Katherine what do you mean? </p><p>Finally, Race said what everyone was thinking. “Tell us something interesting, Brains!” he exclaimed, burying his head in his hands for dramatic effect. The van went silent, and it was almost eerie.</p><p>Albert snorted. “Sorry, Davey, but seriously.” he said. The car was still quiet, and it was nearly uneasy. </p><p>“Look, Dave, we didn’t mean it-“ Smalls began, but Davey cut her off.</p><p>“Anacondas mate by having orgies with twelve males and one female.”</p><p>The entire van went apeshit. Race and Albert had a stroke collectively, wheezing to death while Davey grinned smugly. “W-why do you know that huh?” Race managed to choke out, which only made everyone laugh harder. Kath had woken up and was also laughing. Jack was probably literally dying behind the wheel.</p><p>“Jack, we’re gonna*wheeze* hit the fence!” Crutchie managed to say, leaning against a now flustered Race. Smalls instantly jumped over the seat, channeling her inner Mario Kart champ title. </p><p>“Smalls what the fUcK?!” Jack yelled, still choking on air from laughing. Smalls pulled into a gas station, nearly hitting a PT Cruiser(who still drove those?) with the van.</p><p>Everyone took a deep breath. Davey spoke first.</p><p>“I vote we find a hotel for the night.”</p>
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